I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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