We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
