I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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