Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
