Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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