Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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