this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
