Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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