well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
