Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
