plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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