oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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