i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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