Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting