he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered