i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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