1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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