We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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