Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
