Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize