last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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