I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I am one with the molecules
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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