Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
