This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize