i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
