i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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