too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fill condoms, not promises.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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