Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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