You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
