Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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