i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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