do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
