Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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