so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
