just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
