They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
