doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
