Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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