I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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