i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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