I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ok first of all what the fuck
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
