You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
