Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm getting married
To pizza
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
