my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
