Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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