it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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