she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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