you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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