tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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