I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my poor anus
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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