My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
