Christians are straight up FREAKS
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
being pregnant is like rehab
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
