His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
