i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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