Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
