I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
