You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
