Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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