Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
