Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
