I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize