god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize