Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drake has all the answers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
