i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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