I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
